Carnegie Part 1

“Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” How and Why? This is important because sometimes it is hard to give feedback to people. We may consider that our feedback might be too critical, but in reality, you should want to let them know how you feel. We want the best for them, but also want to make sure we don’t let them walk all over you. This can show what their true character is and how their emotions are. We are human and we love to complain when something doesn’t go our way. This is why peer evaluations in a classroom setting should happen!

“Give honest and sincere appreciation.” People will appreciate evaluation in the long run to make sure they do not continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. If you give your honest opinion this can make or break how you feel about something. Most people want to hear honesty and sometimes it does not always go our way. More than likely you would appreciate honest feedback if they wanted to hear your opinion. So why not give them that honest opinion? It can be difficult at times to relate your opinion because they might not always agree. So why not use Carnegie techniques? 1.) Make them aware you are interested in the topic. 2.) Smile. 3.)  Start with a positive praise followed by a negative.

For example, my manager asked me last week whether or not I like the scheduling system. I honestly told her that it was just not working for everyone. She asked how can I make it better? I told her I would get back with her at the end of the week with a solution. After much research and discussion with peers, we finally decided to take a new approach with scheduling on an online database. We had many issues with schedules; summer approaching, graduations, family vacations, and similar events. We decided that if a system had the option to tell us who and when a person was available, it would be a miracle! Even though it took a sometime to understand it all, the solution will be beneficial in the long run! After all, my manger appreciated that I took the initiative in figuring out this solution. It seems like every job I have had scheduling conflicts were always an issue. This made me feel appreciated just for taking on a small task that she wanted solved.

“Arouse in the other person an eager want.” Always go the extra mile to help someone out. As well as give people what they want, not what you want. This is hard sometimes for us because we automatically think everything is about us when in reality it isn’t.  Sometimes you need to look past how it can benefit you and focus on others first. You should aim to help individuals and make them think that they are valued. It can help if you open your eyes and look on others for a change.

Why are these principles important? Not only do they shape us who we are but ultimately help us become genuinely established leaders. With being a leader you have to have good character, positive emotions, and overall a team player. Leadership can be difficult if you do not like carrying weight on your shoulders. YOU have to start somewhere and applying Carnegie to your life will change it!

Why can criticism make or break a situation?  It can also be dangerous because it can destroy that person’s pride and also makes them feel not wanted. Recently, I had to decide whether or not I wanted to give honest feedback for a group project. I chose to give my opinion since I did not think it was fair for me to fail to do so. I had to take a risk on whether or not this person will like me in the end. After much consideration of the issues we had over the semester, I decided that feedback was a must to get the point across. I am a people person so this was very difficult for me! My mom and I spoke many times about the situation and she told me “if you do not approach the situation then it will just keep happening.” I paused and realized how does this affect me? It affected the way I was in class but did not want to come off as rude. I often thought “Why is this happening to me?” “Why am I paired with someone that waits till the last minute?” Multiple questions popped in my head, but I overcame that fear and applied Carnegie to the person to let them know my concerns. After all, I learned that everyone is different and I must learn how to deal with last minute assignments from. How can I change that? I can be supportive.  I can appreciate the hard work and let them know how I feel about it. Overall, if you are honest and show critical feedback it will more than likely help you in the long run. After all, they will appreciate it too!

  1. How can we as a leader change others to give constructive feedback?
  2. Why is being a leader sometimes classified as being the “boss?”

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